i called her just now...
after her promise of keeping me updated of her whereabouts is not honoured. she went back her room, but she didnt let me know... as she had promised... only after i miss called & smsed her voicing my disappointment only her sms saying she's in her room came thru.

wat has i feared would happen has happened....it's confirmed.... she had a change of heart... while she was with me, she told me how she hated his attitudes.... but now wat she is telling me is totally different... a complete change.... i knew that if she goes out with him this afternoon, he'd be able to sweet talk her to accept him.... it happened.

this afternoon she said that she still loves me very much and will continue to be with me... asking my "permission" to go out n see him when R called, asking to meet her to talk things through... i knew this would happen but she promised me that they're meeting just as friends, she'll explain to him... now all that are just words to pacify me... they had met up & R asked her to be his GF, although L didnt answer that, but in the end they talked things thru, they reach a compromise, and guess what??? He's gonna MEET her P-A-R-E-N-T-S next month to seek approval!!!

I AM SO FREAKING MAD!!!! I AM SO FREAKING FURIOUS!!!!!! I FEEL SO BETRAYED!!! I FEEL SO CHEATED!!!!

although L kept on "REASSURING" me that it all depends on her parents decision, that if her parents rejects R, she'll stay on with me, but also said that i should be prepared for the worst!!! i valued some of her honesty about this, but nonetheless i still cant accept the fact that this is happening!!!

pls... tell me what to do... i've never felt such helplessness before, i've never felt such hopelessness before... i've never cried for a girl but for her i did!!! my head is thinking all the things i know i shouldnt be thinking.... pls... anybody... my friends... if u r reading this blog, pls take some time and call me, tell me what should i do??? pls.... help... me....