last nite... or should i say this morning, i rode as fast as i could, straight to PJ right after the 2nd post without giving any 2nd thought... all i know is that, "no.... i'm not gonna go down without a fight!" she said she loves me... i know that... and i never asked her to prove that, like wat R did.

but i guess.... resistance is fultile then.... no matter what i do or what i say, will never change the fact that she had already expected to dump me...

she said she's gonna be honest and not hide things from me.... yeah sure.... no concealment eh? she didnt even tell me that she let R hold her hands.... only when i asked her whether she did so she admitted.... guys, i guess u can imagine how terrible it is to know ur gf is paying nick nack behind u... yeah... bcoz she needs to obey her parents to only date and marry a christian guy... not bcoz she can choose who to love and live the rest of her life with...

last nite i made up my mind.... if the reason she goes to R is because i'm not a christian and her parents is against it, this is my decision: i'll face her parents. and i'll promise that i will be the christian they want, after i fulfil my responsibility to my parents. i'll tell them as much things that i told L, with hope they'll see that i'm dead serious about it.

thats my final straw of defense... if it still crumbles... then i guess i have lost the war then... i should start packing my bags and leave without a whimper or whine... leave... eventhough i know she will be suffering in silence, there's nothing more i can do... she chose to listen to her parents... not to her conscience...