hi...back again. just had my first paper for my finals. i don't have any paper until wednesday so i guess i could spend some time writing. so how was my paper, u might ask...sadly, i don't think i can make it... shucks...have i gone rusty? i don't know...feels like i can't perform anymore...i still think that i could do it if i studied, but heck... i can't...u see...i have studied all day yesterday, but then i can't seem to have it in my brain! i have tried my best to understand my subject but everything went blank when i was in the room. ths has never happened to me before... well, u might say this is because this is my first time taking a uni exam but no... this is not psycological. i'm not in any way having anxiety attack, instead i was totally calm and confident when i go in, only to realise that i couldn't recall what i had studied when i tried answering the questions. what is happening to me? have i lost the ability to study like back then when i was still a teenager? i am worried...worried that i might not be able to get through this uni stage.1 subject down, 4 to go. i don't know if i can do something about it...if i failed this semester...i wonder what more i could achieve in coming semester... stressed up? no, i'm not...i'm just wondering what had happened to me? i can't seem to recapture my old self.

another interesting event... i think that a classmate of mine is having some feelings for me. no, i don't have any feelings for her, but rumours around my classmates are stressing me out. should i give her a chance? by doing this, i'm also giving myself a chance at relationships.....but then again... i doubt i should do it. there're still many things that i need to do. i shouldn't be bothered by this kinda stuff. one story that kept on lingering in y mind is that, never let a good opportunity go for there will never be another coming. true... there has never a time when a girl is liking me...except that i'm the one who falls for others... but if i don't grab this, i might be giving myself some freedom to choose... what should i do? i 'm not sure...best if i can just forget about every thing...like i forget everything i've studied for the exam. sigh...if u've watched "Tuesdays with Morrie", then u'll understand what i'm facing. quite a meaningful story, if u wanna find out about it...do a search on google. i've mentioned it once back in my old post.

so..what am i gonna do now? well...i'll just log off, get back to my books and gather as much as i can. i couldn't afford to lose everything again. i have to do something or i'll just be another bunch of rubbish. wish me luck, pls.