Tuesday, March 30, 2004

erm...it has been a very long time since i put anything in here....very, very long.... so to update a lil bit about myself, just got myself a laptop pc 3 weeks ago... n i have been very busy since...nah...not busy in terms of working on my homework or assignments, but busy playing games, copying music files...and enjoying the wireless internet thing in my uni...

last week has been quite hectic.... with that law assignment...i had not been getting enuf sleep for 3 days prior to saturday inclusive, and wat the hack i just found out while i were slaving away doing the final job of the assignments, my group members were actually having a good time going out for dinner and supper.... did u know how steamed up i am!? no, not because they're enjoying while i'm working, but the least they can do is ask me to join ma.... is that how they treat some one who's working hard like a slave trying to cover up their @55!? but heck.... don care la...

perhaps that fortune teller's right...umm...wat fortune teller? well i did put up in this blog regarding this some times back, but i'll just refresh ur memories.... this fortune teller told me that i have lotsa acquaintance surrounding me, but i have not even a friend.... thinking back, i feel the words were very true.... not that i'd want to believe in this hocus-pocus thingie, but somehow, i really felt sidelined....i felt like a stranger among ppl whom i know, there's not even one person that i'd feel warm with... i felt lonely... especially during the cold rainy nights...the feeling is much more intense.... i really wanted to have some 1 by my side, to hold on, to hug with, to talk to....but somehow, given the situation i'm in now, i doubt that i'd ever have any.... oh mi gosh...this squishy feeling is back haunting me again...i cant seem to be able to win thru this battle as time goes by...where back then it'd not be any issue with me...perhaps i'm getting old...the biological clock's alarm is ringing....or perhaps it's the pressure i'm feeling, with all those lengluis walking around in my uni, almost a third of them are walking with their boyfriends... sigh... i'm confused, lost and down... there's this feeling of a string tugging on my heart...if u know wat i mean.

perhaps i need to go somewhere, or do something to cool down...to re-prioritize my life... oh how i wish i could do so, but situation doesnt permits me... with the threat of an exam looming over the sky, and the 2 tests, 2 assignments and a presentation, all within this week, i couldnt seem to be able to concentrate on things that i should do....i'm really dazed....i really didnt want to disappoint my lil sis, neither would i want to disappoint myself, supposed i should be doing something now, ah, but well.... i am in trouble...