this is supposed to come up yesterday, but bcoz i didnt hav a connection yesterday,i could only write it tonite,so u might be wondering how's the meeting with L turned out, rite?

at first i had acted according to plan, which is saying "i'm sorry, i cant get over our religion difference. i wont convert no matter how much i love the girl..." and walk out.well.. for the 1st phase, it goes as planned, but later on...sigh... i'm one total failure! she mis-called me n my heart melted! i went back in n sat on the chair in front of her... at first she said nothing bt i could see the angry fire in her eyes... i dunno why, but automatically i felt sorry to hav disappointed this girl. i apologized to her and told her that i loved her... fark! what did i say??? i'm so dead.. i'm so farked up, big time!!! sigh... i've fallen into this pitless hole i dug for myself... guess i've no choice but to play along... sigh... hopefully when my campus move to sg. long by the end of this year, the distance would be able to loosen this grip on me... and eventually break us off... oh, i'm praying hard for it!!! i hate to tell her straight that i dont even like her in the 1st place... i hate to disappoint ppl. i just cant do it... sigh... failure...

and today... well i played along didnt i? met her again in pc to teman her... sat there, chat awhile... sweettalk... err... did i say sweettalk? heck i dont even know i can sweettalk, but thats what she said i did.... crap... i thought i was talking rubbish... cozi know i'll never be able to sweep a girl off her feet, i just dunno wats wrong with her going so crazy with me. so tonite after going for dinner with BK... yup u read that right... i went dinner with BK, just me n her...

went to a mamak (expensive!!!) ate rojak and the total cost is rm 15 for a meal for 2! shux!!! she paid for it , shame on me, but it's becoz i have ran out of cash at that particular time, i repaired my m-bike prior to dinner and it costed me rm123!!! wtf!!?? that's all the cash i had at that time...i'm so embarassed... so i promised her the next meal would be on me. thank god she agreed and, there i go, setting up another dinner with her. clever, no?

so basically during the dinner we talked almost everything and touched on some personal issues of her... makes me understand more about her... she told me not to waste my time to wait for her, coz she edi hav a bf..well, i expected that, such a lookable girl without bf is hard to believe... but she's very open with me, so i'm happy for it... i asked her if she'd mind me to continue looking at her, and she didnt say yes or no. she replied that i'm so funny to be looking at her most of the time... well.. i take that as a no, she dont mind. period... so i'll continue looking at her.

after the dinner with BK, we went back to MC (she stays there) and calls L to come down... talked for a while, hug hug awhile, and finally b4 i leave... ahem, ahem... as the mind is being ruled by the smaller head down under,i asked her permission for a kiss, and kiss we did... hmm... feels nothing... i dont feel special... harlo... this is my 1st kiss la! and nothing happened!!! not even the feeling of electicity!!! aww... wat a crap!!! oh yah, not to forget, after some hug, i found out that she got lotsa fat under her skin!!! OMFG!!!! sigh... i just hope that i'd not be too attached to this girl and her to me... pls... i'm still young and i dont want to be tied down yet!!!

aargghhh!!!!!

dear readers,

how long have i not been writing here? it's been like... ages since the last time i login to write anything... what have i been doing? u must be wondering why with all these silence... to all ppl who waited faithfully and reminded me of the existence of this blog, i'd like to say thanx to them. when i came back to the website justnow i'm surprisd to find out that bloger.com has done a layout re-design... seems nice... i wonder if they did the same for the templates of blogs...

guess it's about time for me time change as well... ok lets not get too far shall we? perhaps i should start laying down the facts that has happened since the last time i login.basically it was kinda boring days after that with classes, assignments and studies to catch up for the final exams... the result just came out last week, sigh... i guess i'm not as good as i had expected after all... i've got a 4-flat!!! and i really mean F-L-A-T! Out of 5 subjects i took, 4 gets C(2.0)! while the other gets a C+(2.3) Doesnt it makes a 4 flatter! boy n it really flattened my cgpa down to 2.39!!! lol.... sigh... what could i say. as 1 of the principles in economics, ppl face tradeoffs. i enjoyed the time playing around having fun, in return i get less time for studies, and now the results shows the payoff for the effort i put in. btw, my faculty moves campus again... this time to another building near the shiseido factory... which is visible from millenium court or samad school if u happen to be on jalan universiti...

if u think i'd be seriously insaf, u are wrong. guess what? for the new intake of this year i went to be part of the orientation programme for the freshies and basically i had fun!!! i even stretched my strings longer by being the MC for the talent nite showcase, which will commence on this saturday. and just for this, i have been and will skip 3 day's worth of lectures and classes to work on this... though my contribution in this is not as much as some of other commitees, but just imagine all the works to be done to organise an event, and it's not just any joke, it's one of the major annual event in my uni's calendar. but alas, tis is the final event for the orientation programme, and deep inside i really thanked god for finally i would not have any more reason not to start hitting on my books, and straighten up my grades to where it's supposed to be. *chuckle*

so that is what i hoped for la... to bring up my grades as much as possible. but then again, apart from from these official events that's holding me back, there's this "unofficial" thingie that comes up my mind most of the time... sigh... what else would a lonely, single guy would think of when he's sitting alone on the couch, without anybody to go out with and to pass away the time? haha... i'm back to the old themes again, but then this time, i'm having a new set of girls to mention this time.

ok, let me start with the first girl that has the longest interaction time with me. her name is CK, from KL. i think i mentioned somewhere inside this blog some times back, that she was my "khai-mui" but ironically she's a year older than me. fine... age doesnt matter... all this while i dont like girls who smokes. but somehow, i kinda tak kisah with her smoking. and she's quite a drinker too, mind you. physical wise, she's tall, thin and flat chested. neither would she is a looker. but somehow, it just doesnt matter much to me. i kinda know very well that she wont be able to provide a good

offspring for me. according to medical articles that i have read, women who smoked and drinked would affect the quality of children they bear. i dont want to bring some innocent child into this world suffering the consequence of their parents action. we've known each other for more than a year now,and we had confided in each other about many things... lately i was trying to push things to a higher level... i myself dunno why i did that, but perhaps it's the biological clock and my hormones are ruling my brains now. i've did most of what a man would do to court a lady, and yet she' still unsure of her own feelings on me. frankly speaking i am the best guy among all the guys she's dated before, but yet she's stil battling with herself whether i am the man for her. perhaps this is a good thing for me too that i could divide the focus of my attention to some other girls too.

secondly, there's this girl, let's call her CY, from shah alam. i kinda sensed that she has some interest in me and i did put some effort to chat her up. again, she's tall, thin and flat chested. but though it's a bliss to have a girl going ga-ga over u, but lately i found the bad side to her maternal instinct. she would not hesitate to use the hand on the kids to discipline them. though looking on the bright side it's an effective way to deal with rowdy kids, but i wana try to be a reasoning parent in disciplining the kids... so again i think i'll give her a miss...for now... sigh...

thirdly, another girl, which i found that her looks are quite different and interesting. i've seen her since last year but it's only this year only i get to

know her bcoz she became my classmate!!! let's call her BK. forgot where she's from. she's not exactly the prettiest girl in school type, but somehow i wont get tired looking at her. i am so mata gatal to steal glances on her whenever i can. i did let her know what i was doing n she was like, um.... neutral... neither welcoming nor rejecting my actions... so i guess i'll continue to have my eyes on her!

lastly, i know this girl not long ago. let's call her L, from seremban. known her during the orientation programme, she's one of the working committee... she can speak close to perfect english. frankly she's not a beautiful girl at all... even her looks kinda feel cacat abit. small eyes for her face, chin too small and some excess meat under the chin... my, u'd think that she IS cacat! hell, she doesnt even have a killer body! but then, her skin is fair. initially there was nothing, but 2 days ago (wednesday) we both went to to an MPO showcase organised by a fellow committee under the uni's name, and we went in one whole uni's bus. i found out that she's trained in classical piano and boy, she really have knowledge of all those musics!!! well... ahem, being a courteous gentleman that i was, i had commented on how wonderful her perfume smells, how beautiful she were when she was happy, serving foods and drinks for her (we went to burger king la!!!) after the showcase... and then on the trip home, found out she really have memorised alot of songs lyrics, and we sang together songs that both me and her likes... after she went down the bus at the hostel and i proceeded to the campus for more talent nite preparation job, she started to sms me. things got alot more intense from then on. despite her looks, she is quite an intelligent girl, where not many other girl could match up, but sadly to say, second to EH, but perhaps it's too wrong a statement as they both excell in a field of their own. now... as i mean at this particular hour, i can say she's crazy in love with me! smses has come to things like "honey", "honeybear", "sweet dear". i was wondering what had i done to make her go ga-ga over me. when asked, she says that i'm quite a girl's guy and she feels safe with me (wat??? hello... i'm a wolf in a sheep's skin!!!) hell, i'm sounding like i'm boasting myself, but hey, if u dont believe it, wait until u meet her! but if u want prove by showing smses, sori la... i deleted everything as soon i read it, just to prevent the other committees from finding out about us, yet. but hell... frankly, while i could fantasize myself with most girls, i cant seem to be able to even imagine myself making out with her! shux... while it is a bliss to have girl going ga-ga over me, but i cant feel the same for her... isnt it quite unfair for both of us? but then i liked her intelligence, truly a GEMSTONE among the sea of rocks (while i'd rank EH as a DIAMOND) she'd make a good wife and mother... it's just that the looks part which is bothering me, and not to forget that i'm trying to be in multiple place at the same time, trying to flirt several girls at one time!

by the way, tomorrow would be birthday la.. why hadnt i heard from u ppl??? but then either way it's not a big thing for me la... my birthday falls exactly on the talent nite itself! so my ex-classmates decided to celebrate it earlier on yesterday. initially i knew they're gonna do something but whe i saw the coffee cake,i thought they would not waste such a beautiful cake just to hit me with it... but shux, they did! aw... wat a waste... but then after cleaning everything, the main entree is a fruit cake la... guess wat they give me for present? a box of renoma underwear.... size M some more... guess it'd go to my bro then... i didnt tell them that it wouldnt fit me.. just act happy and thank them la... those talent nite committees already knew bout my birthday, and i'm expecting that they'd do something terrible onto me as soon as the event ends!!! shux...

gosh i wonder how i would turn out in the end... sigh... i'm kinda tired by now after writing all these... hopefully when there's any new events i'd be here again to update you all! so till then!